Faith vs. Fear

A sickening knot ties itself in my stomach. I inhale, I exhale, but it doesn’t seem to make a difference; it’s just as if I didn’t breathe at all.  I feel the starting of a dull ache in my head. I’m stressed, I’m afraid, and I know that I can’t do it.

The closer I get to graduation, the more afraid I become. I’m afraid because I don’t know what to expect, I’m afraid because I don’t know what to do, I’m afraid to try because I’m afraid to fail, and I’m afraid I’ll be unhappy. It becomes easier to just sit back and hide from the world and try to escape to a place where fear doesn’t exist. It’s easier to stop moving forward.

The debilitating power of fear is one of the strongest forces on earth. Relationships are destroyed, dreams are never realized, and kingdoms fall all because of fear. Nothing makes a task more difficult to accomplish or a goal harder to reach than the gut-wrenching feeling that you can’t do it. Maybe you’re afraid is because you are trying something new that you don’t feel prepared to face, maybe you are afraid because it’s something you’ve failed at before, or maybe you are afraid that you aren’t up to the task simply because you believe you aren’t enough. The motivations are varied, but the effect is the same. Fear makes a difficult task impossible. As long as you allow your fear to rule your decisions, you are destined to fail. And it’s true; I would fail if I didn’t know one simple truth.

Faith is stronger than fear.

Faith has the power to calm any heart and soothe any soul. Faith is strong enough to wipe out all fear.  “If ye have faith ye hope for things which are not seen, which are true.” Alma 32:21. I don’t have faith that I will land my dream job and all of a sudden my life will be perfect. I don’t have faith that my problems will be simple and easy to solve. I can hope for these things, but because they aren’t necessarily truth, that’s not faith. Knowing that God is in control, he loves me, and as I strive to align my will with his, I will find happiness, is faith. As I have faith, I know that my life will not be easy. I know that I won’t always succeed.  But I also know that as I do my best and I trust in the Lord I will be happy.

I feel myself start to calm down. I inhale, I exhale, and I feel my heart rate slow down. My head still hurts, but I know soon that will fade. I’m still stressed, I feel pretty nervous, and I know that I can do it.